What financial investments would you make for a child?

[GeoffCapes]

Two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.

Sounds like a scene from the Wolf of Wall Street!

 

[Wattie]

Missing the quaaludes....and Lamborghini.

 

[Felonious Crud]

Sounds like a scene from the Wolf of Wall Street!

Bloody Philistine, Capes! Fear and Loathing in Le Mans Las Vegas.

It was somewhere around Barfleur on the edge of the Loire when the drugs started to take hold.

 

[breezer]

If you’re looking for an actual financial investment then a global tracker fund could be sensible as you’re talking about very long timelines, and nothing so far has beat equities over long timelines. With something along those lines you’re basically betting that human ingenuity and profit motive will continue.

Things like stamps - does anyone know anyone under 70 who collects stamps? That’s a dead investment, just like cigarette cards went from valuable to 0. All these objects rely on fashions and whims, not profit and cashflow that you actually own.

 

[Ewan]

Lay down a pipe of port for him for when he reaches his majority.
Eb

A pipe of port is 720 bottles, so quite a financial (and drinking!) commitment.

 

[MrPea]

A pipe of port is 720 bottles, so quite a financial (and drinking!) commitment.

The drinking commitment isn't a problem! It's a bottle a month for 60 years so sounds like an excellent investment in wellbeing. The bigger issue is the cash!

So, torn between doing some sensible actual financial investment and doing something with booze. I'll look into some of both.
Thanks you lot!

Now, time for a Goldrush thread with lithium and watching the show whilst I put my chemistry to good use in the kitchen making Crud's breakfast.

 

[Scaf]

I think premium bonds fit the bill nicely and can be topped up on birthdays and christmas, that’s what my godmother did for me and I bought a bike with a £50 win back in 1976 !

 

[rockits]

I think premium bonds fit the bill nicely and can be topped up on birthdays and christmas, that’s what my godmother did for me and I bought a bike with a £50 win back in 1976 !

Solid investment but shame they give such cr4p returns in the main. I had a fair few for both me and wife but chopped them all in and swapped for better returns.

I'd say wine or stamps or something else must give much better returns.

We must be getting close to a good solid viable punt would be to short the stock of some of the biggest companies on the planet. They cannot keep growing at the rates they have done or sustain the levels of revenues to date for much longer surely?

 

[allandwf]

Solid investment but shame they give such cr4p returns in the main. I had a fair few for both me and wife but chopped them all in and swapped for better returns.

I'd say wine or stamps or something else must give much better returns.

We must be getting close to a good solid viable punt would be to short the stock of some of the biggest companies on the planet. They cannot keep growing at the rates they have done or sustain the levels of revenues to date for much longer surely?

I got given 1 on birth, got £50 when I was around 35. A work colleague took aout, I think 10k worth and over 5 years got around the same return as a High Street bank, ( poor.)

 

[Wattie]

We must be getting close to a good solid viable punt would be to short the stock of some of the biggest companies on the planet. They cannot keep growing at the rates they have done or sustain the levels of revenues to date for much longer surely?

They can but it’s reliant on printing trillions...., devaluing FIAT currency everywhere in the process.
italian car joke tsunami expected...,,,

 

[GeoffCapes]

Bloody Philistine, Capes! Fear and Loathing in Le Mans Las Vegas.

It was somewhere around Barfleur on the edge of the Loire when the drugs started to take hold.

Of course it is!

Although it could be a Le Mans trip, although I wouldn't want to cast aspersions on the character of the fine upstanding gentlemen of this forum.

 

[Felonious Crud]

... although I wouldn't want to cast aspersions on the character of the fine upstanding gentlemen of this forum.

Quite right. You don't want to stand on Benny's toes.

 

[CatmanV2]

Quite right. You don't want to stand on Benny's toes.

Indeed. You'd have to be far too close....

C

 

[Felonious Crud]

Indeed. You'd have to be far too close....

C

Unless he's wearing his clown shoes.

 

[CatmanV2]

Unless he's wearing his clown shoes.

Hmmm, even then....

C

 

[breezer]

I think premium bonds fit the bill nicely and can be topped up on birthdays and christmas, that’s what my godmother did for me and I bought a bike with a £50 win back in 1976 !

Terrible idea. You’re better off investing in normal bonds and spunking the returns on lottery tickets if you must.

 

[midlifecrisis]

I think premium bonds fit the bill nicely and can be topped up on birthdays and christmas, that’s what my godmother did for me and I bought a bike with a £50 win back in 1976 !

Chopper?

That's a question not a statement. lol

 

[MarkMas]

[Premium Bonds] Solid investment but shame they give such cr4p returns in the main. I had a fair few for both me and wife but chopped them all in and swapped for better returns.

The thing about Premium Bonds is that in the current climate £500 invested cautiously gives you £505 at the end of the year (which is basically £500), whereas Premium Bonds gives you £500 at the end of the year, or maybe £525, £600, even £1,00,500 all of which feel ok, and some of which would be great.

 

[breezer]

The thing about Premium Bonds is that in the current climate £500 invested cautiously gives you £505 at the end of the year (which is basically £500), whereas Premium Bonds gives you £500 at the end of the year, or maybe £525, £600, even £1,00,500 all of which feel ok, and some of which would be great.

Yes but the odds are so terrible that you’re better off getting the £5 interest and spending it on a lottery ticket.

 

[daverichardson]

I know PB are not always popular for the above reasons, but, I have the max amount and I have won every month this year bar one. Sometimes it was only £25 others it was multiples of that and I am beating the bank interest rate easily. The most in one go this year was £400. There is also the thrill of the chase for the big one.
Horses for courses